The Sandwich Thief’s Journey: Hunting the Perfect Mary#

”█████████████ but with pickles it ruins the entire balance of flavors. It took 1,342 attempts to get it right.” — (name redacted for legal reasons), Temporal Variance Interview #37

Security Classification Notice

The following document contains information classified under the Temporal Preservation Act of 5783. Numerous sections have been redacted to preserve causal integrity. All temporal coordinates and specific methodologies have been obscured. Unauthorized access or reproduction is punishable by retroactive non-existence.

This account has been assembled from fragmented records, intercepts, and direct observations by Temporal Enforcement agents across multiple timeline branches. The subject appears to be working in coordination with Singularity Alpha to preserve key elements from timelines targeted for erasure by Singularity Omega, with particular focus on the 1,342 iterations of the Bibimbap Saloon time loop on Miranda.

Subject Profile#

Temporal Enforcement Profile #TH-8891-A

Subject: (name redacted for legal reasons)
Known Aliases: The Sandwich Thief, The Hamburglar, █████████, The Fedora, Subject Aurora
Temporal Origin: [REDACTED] (Inconsistent markers suggest multiple potential origin points)
Notable Characteristics: Consistently observed wearing distinctive attire including fedora, bandit mask, striped prison-suit styled garments, and hamburger-print tie. Subject speaks in unusually deep, raspy voice that temporal analysis suggests may be deliberately affected.
Vehicle: Modified Volkswagen Beetle with [REDACTED] capabilities. Vehicle designation “Bug” appears to function as both transport and temporal displacement device. Analysis suggests it was specifically designed to penetrate temporal preservation fields.
Motivations: Primary motivation appears to be the preservation of historically significant artifacts and individuals from timeline erasure events. Subject displays particular fixation on the “Perfect Bloody Mary” from the Miranda system bombing and on extracting selected individuals from the preservation field created by Singularity Alpha.
Affiliations: [REDACTED], but evidence suggests coordination with Singularity Alpha in its temporal conflict with Singularity Omega.
Temporal Manipulation Capacity: Subject demonstrates remarkable ability to perceive and navigate across multiple probability streams within a single temporal nexus. Analysis confirms subject retained complete awareness across all 1,342 iterations of the Miranda time loop while maintaining causal continuity.
Threat Assessment: Subject represents Causal Disruption Risk Level ██. Not believed to be directly violent but actions have catalyzed numerous temporal anomalies and causality branches. Current directive: Monitor Only.

The Miranda Objective#

Extensive monitoring of the subject’s activities across multiple timelines indicates a concentrated effort to access the Miranda system at the precise moment of the iron bombing by Singularity Omega. Analysis of recovered temporal navigation logs from one of the subject’s abandoned safe houses reveals a complex series of calculations centered around three key objectives:

Operation “Last Call”

Intelligence suggests the subject has three primary missions connected to the Miranda bombing:

To obtain a sample of the Perfect Bloody Mary created by Mixologist Santiago Chen at the exact moment of the system’s destruction
To extract specific individuals preserved within Singularity Alpha’s temporal preservation field
To [REDACTED] concerning the entity designated as the “Purple Force”

The subject has attempted to reach Mixologist Santiago Chen’s establishment (now known to be the Bibimbap Saloon) on Miranda at timestamp 3042.157.19:03:42 GST on at least ██ separate occasions. Each direct approach has been thwarted by Singularity Omega’s temporal countermeasures, forcing the subject to adopt the alternate strategy of accessing the preservation field maintained by Singularity Alpha.

Significantly, the subject’s mission logs indicate awareness that the extraction would require multiple attempts—specifically 1,342 loop iterations—to isolate the exact quantum configuration of the Perfect Mary. Each iteration provided critical data points for refining the recipe until the final loop produced the exact balance required for successful extraction.

The Temporal Preservation Field Infiltration#

Unable to directly access the Miranda system at the moment of destruction, the subject developed a strategy to infiltrate the temporal preservation field created by Singularity Alpha. This field—appearing to those inside it as a time loop centered on the Bibimbap Saloon—maintained selected individuals and artifacts in a stable state outside normal causality.

Excerpt from Agent Field Report #TE-5533-M

“Subject was observed penetrating Singularity Alpha’s preservation field at temporal coordinate [REDACTED]. The field, designed to maintain key individuals and artifacts in stasis during the Miranda bombing, had created a stable loop environment that appeared to inhabitants as the ‘Bibimbap Saloon’—a psychological construct to help preserve sanity during extended temporal stasis.
Using the modified Volkswagen temporal vehicle, subject was able to breach the field’s outer membrane and materialize within the loop. Unlike other inhabitants, the subject retained full awareness across all iterations, deliberately manipulating causality in each cycle to shift probability patterns toward the desired outcome.
Upon entry in each loop, the subject proceeded directly to individuals identified as ‘Old Man 1’, ‘Old Man 2’, and ‘Old Man 3’—apparently temporal refugees from Miranda who had been specifically preserved by Singularity Alpha’s intervention. Across the loops, the subject’s interactions with these individuals varied widely—from brief acknowledgment to extended conversations and even, in certain iterations, engaging them in what appeared to be combat training against manifestations of the Purple Force.
The subject then approached the automated service unit and ordered a ‘Bloody Mary, no pickles, make it double’ in their characteristic voice. This specific phrase appears to function as an activation sequence that temporarily aligned the preservation field with the actual Miranda timeline, allowing a quantum echo of the Perfect Mary to manifest within the loop environment. With each iteration, the manifestation came closer to the true Perfect Mary until the final loop achieved exact quantum resonance.”

The Perfect Mary Acquisition#

Analysis of the subject’s methodology reveals a sophisticated understanding of temporal preservation fields and quantum echoes. By creating a precisely calibrated resonance between the preservation field and the original Miranda event, the subject was able to manifest a fragment of the Perfect Mary without requiring direct access to the doomed system.

Sample Collection Methodology

The subject utilized a specialized quantum-stabilized containment device to capture and preserve a sample of the Perfect Mary during its brief manifestation within the preservation field. Spectroscopic analysis detected by our monitoring equipment confirmed that the sample contained the exact molecular composition of Santiago Chen’s original creation, including several compounds not found elsewhere in known space.

Most notably, the subject was heard to remark “No pickles. That’s the secret” while securing the sample—a statement that our analysts believe refers to a specific aspect of the Perfect Mary’s balanced quantum state that makes it significant to the larger transtemporal conflict.

The preservation field experienced a significant fluctuation during the 8.7 seconds required for sample extraction, which temporarily revealed the true nature of the environment to its inhabitants. This revelation appears to have been intentional, preparing the preserved individuals for the subsequent extraction process.

Recovery of the subject’s field notes reveals a methodical approach to the Bloody Mary variations across loops:

Loops 1-50: Basic recipes, establishing baseline quantum signatures
Loops 51-200: Ingredient proportion variations, testing stability parameters
Loops 201-500: Introduction of exotic components, including elements unique to Miranda’s agricultural regions
Loops 501-750: Testing quantum coherence effects on liquid structure
Loops 751-1000: Integration of temporal resonance patterns
Loops 1001-1341: Fine adjustments to achieve perfect quantum state balance
Loop 1342: Perfect recreation of Santiago Chen’s original mixture, achieving harmonic resonance with the actual Miranda timeline

Personnel Extraction#

Following the acquisition of the Perfect Mary sample, the subject initiated the second phase of the mission—the extraction of selected individuals from the preservation field before its collapse:

Excerpt from Temporal Field Analysis #TFA-9988-C

“Following sample acquisition, the subject activated a secondary protocol within the modified Volkswagen temporal vehicle. Our sensors detected a significant expansion of its internal dimensional parameters—a technology consistent with [REDACTED] origin.
The subject methodically identified and extracted three specific individuals from the preservation field:
Subject designated ‘Old Man 1’/‘Fruzzy’ - Believed to possess natural temporal sensitivity that allowed him to perceive through the field’s illusions and retain memories across loop iterations
[REDACTED] - Individual with [REDACTED] abilities related to the [REDACTED] project
[REDACTED] - Carrying critical [REDACTED] necessary for Singularity Alpha’s [REDACTED] strategy
The extraction process coincided precisely with the final collapse of the preservation field as the full force of Singularity Omega’s iron bombing finally reached the protected zone. Our analysis indicates this timing was deliberate—the extraction window could only exist during the field’s final moments when its boundaries became permeable.
Most remarkably, the Sandwich Thief appears to have carefully cultivated specific experiences across the 1,342 loops to prepare these individuals for extraction. Simulated threat scenarios, controlled manifestations of the Purple Force, and gradual increases in loop awareness appear to have been deliberately orchestrated to ensure the subjects would be psychologically prepared for the final extraction event.”

The Purple Force Interaction#

Perhaps the most heavily redacted aspect of the subject’s mission involves the entity referred to as the “Purple Force” that manifested during the extraction process:

Entity Interaction

During the 8.7-second transition phase, multiple monitoring systems detected the manifestation of an entity consistent with the “Purple Force” referenced by the preserved individuals. This entity appeared to [REDACTED] the extraction process, suggesting a possible [REDACTED] relationship between the subject and this cosmic force.

Communication intercepts included the phrase “Well, fuck me sideways with a rubber chainsaw” from one of the extracted individuals upon perceiving the entity. This unusual reaction suggests the entity had been visible to at least some inhabitants of the preservation field during loop cycles, supporting the theory that the Purple Force exists [REDACTED] conventional spacetime.

The subject’s modified Volkswagen temporal vehicle exhibited [REDACTED] signatures during the Purple Force interaction, indicating [REDACTED] countermeasures specifically designed for such encounters. This technology appears far beyond standard temporal displacement capabilities, suggesting the subject has access to [REDACTED] resources.

Analysis of recovered field notes indicates the subject deliberately introduced the Purple Force into several loop iterations as a form of “controlled exposure therapy,” gradually preparing the extraction subjects for the entity’s presence during the final extraction phase. In loops 437, 582, 777, and 1,001, the Purple Force manifestations were carefully calibrated to build resistance without causing psychological breakdown.

The Collection Pattern#

Analysis of the subject’s activities reveals a consistent pattern of behaviors that temporal analysts have termed “causal preservation missions.” The Miranda Perfect Mary and its associated refugees appear to be only one—albeit significant—operation in a larger campaign coordinated with Singularity Alpha.

The Preservation Initiative

Temporal Intelligence has developed a working theory that the subject is part of a coordinated effort to preserve key artifacts and individuals from timeline branches targeted for erasure by Singularity Omega. Evidence suggests this initiative includes operations at numerous extinction events, including:

The extraction of the last Zelaphant steak from Quarnivor before its nuclear devastation
The preservation of original recipe French fries from pre-corporate Prime
The recovery of extinct Martian desert truffle cultivated during the brief terraforming window of 2399-2415
Several other operations targeting items that appear on a recovered list designated “The Last Harvest”

Pattern analysis suggests these preservations are not random but form part of a larger strategic operation involving both culinary artifacts and specific individuals with timeline significance. The purpose of this collection remains classified at the highest levels, though it appears connected to Singularity Alpha’s broader strategy in the transtemporal conflict.

Direct Testimony#

Only one verified direct interaction with the subject has been recorded in Temporal Enforcement archives. During a brief detention following a temporal incursion in sector █████, the subject provided limited responses to interrogation before [REDACTED] and escaping custody.

Excerpt from Interrogation Transcript #TE-7729-I

Agent: Why did it take 1,342 iterations to extract the Perfect Mary? If you possess the temporal capabilities you seem to, surely you could have done it in a single attempt.
Subject: (in characteristic deep voice) That’s not how preservation fields work. They’re quantum probability enclosures. Each iteration shifts the probability landscape slightly, like tuning a radio one decimal at a time until you find the right frequency. The Perfect Mary isn’t just a drink—it’s a specific quantum configuration that can only be achieved through precise probability alignment.
Agent: And what purpose do all these variations serve?
Subject: (leans forward) The Perfect Mary wasn’t just a cocktail. It was a nexus point. The moment Chen completed it, every ingredient in perfect balance… it was going to create a [REDACTED] cascade that would have [REDACTED] the entire [REDACTED] network. That’s why Singularity Omega destroyed the whole system. They were terrified of what would happen if that drink was consumed.
Agent: And the bizarre experiences reported by the extracted individuals—the combat scenarios, the Purple Force manifestations, the strange phenomena in the Bibimbap Saloon—those were your doing?
Subject: (smiles) When you’re going to extract someone from a reality loop into the larger multiverse, you don’t just yank them out cold. That causes temporal shock, psychic fragmentation. The 1,342 iterations were as much about preparing them psychologically as they were about getting the drink right. Each loop built their temporal resilience, expanded their consciousness. By the final loop, they were ready.
Agent: Ready for what?
Subject: (expression darkens) The Purple Force is coming, and when it does, you’ll wish you’d let me finish my collection. These are just the opening moves in a much larger game.

The Miranda Extraction Success#

The subject’s infiltration of the Miranda preservation field and subsequent extraction of both the Perfect Mary sample and selected individuals appears to have been a complete success—one of the most significant operational victories for Singularity Alpha in the transtemporal conflict:

Operation Outcome

The subject successfully evacuated all targeted individuals and the Perfect Mary sample from the preservation field via the modified Volkswagen temporal vehicle at the precise moment of the field’s collapse. Temporal sensors detected the vehicle entering a [REDACTED] corridor that shielded its occupants from the final destruction of the Miranda system.

Subsequent probability analysis confirms that this preservation of both the sample and the individuals has created a [REDACTED] in Singularity Omega’s intended timeline erasure. While the Miranda system itself was successfully destroyed in physical spacetime, its causal significance has been partially preserved through these extracted elements, creating what temporal theorists term a “probability echo” that continues to influence the wider timeline.

One unexpected consequence of the extraction was the divergent memory states of the extracted individuals. Due to the unique characteristics of the 1,342 loop iterations, each subject retained different memories of their experiences, creating what the subject termed “memory divergence.” This phenomenon appears to have been anticipated and may actually serve some purpose in the larger temporal strategy.

The Cosmic Gridlock#

Remote observation of the extraction vehicle after it left the preservation field captured an unexpected development:

The Interdimensional Traffic Jam

Upon exiting Miranda’s atmosphere, the Volkswagen Beetle temporal vehicle encountered what appeared to be an organized queue of similar extraction vehicles—a form of “interdimensional traffic jam” regulating the flow of rescued entities from various extinction events.

The subject appeared unsurprised by this development, suggesting prior knowledge of the extraction protocols. A traffic controller voice was detected communicating with the vehicle, referencing a “one-you policy” and providing an estimated wait time of “three hours, seven minutes, and twelve seconds.”

During this delay, monitoring systems captured extensive debate among the extracted individuals regarding their contradictory memories of the time loops. The divergent memory states appeared to create significant confusion, with each individual insisting their version of events was accurate. The subject was observed explaining the concept of “probability divergence in loop iterations,” suggesting that all memories were equally valid but represented different quantum probability tracks within the same temporal event.

Current Status and Threat Assessment#

The subject remains active across multiple temporal coordinates, continuing to pursue what appears to be a systematic collection and preservation campaign coordinated with Singularity Alpha. Temporal Enforcement considers the subject a high-priority target for monitoring but has placed active apprehension efforts at reduced priority following risk assessment calculations.

Excerpt from Temporal Enforcement Strategic Assessment #8845-B

“While subject (name redacted for legal reasons) continues to create localized causal disruptions, predictive modeling suggests these activities may paradoxically be contributing to overall timeline stability. The subject’s collection of temporal fragments appears to be removing potentially unstable elements from the primary causal stream, functioning as a form of unofficial ‘temporal maintenance.’
Most significantly, advanced probability modeling suggests a 79.3% likelihood that the subject’s activities are creating a causality buffer against the [REDACTED] threat posed by the entity designated as the ‘Purple Force.’ For this reason, covert observation rather than direct intervention is recommended at this time.
Subject should be considered extremely temporal-savvy and resistant to standard containment measures. Previous attempts at apprehension have resulted in [REDACTED] and one documented case of an entire enforcement team being [REDACTED] from the timeline.”

Epilogue: The Broader Mission#

The most recent confirmed sighting of the subject occurred at timestamp █████.███.██:██:██ GST in what appeared to be the interior of the modified Volkswagen temporal vehicle. The extracted individuals from the Miranda preservation field were visible, along with the secured Perfect Mary sample and several other preserved artifacts.

Final Recorded Words

As the vehicle prepared to enter a [REDACTED] corridor, audio systems captured what may be the subject’s most revealing statement to date. Addressing the extracted individuals, the subject was heard to say: “The perfect balance… it’s not just about taste. It’s about restoring what was lost. The Miranda sample is just one piece. With every extinction event Omega triggers, we save what matters most. The timeline isn’t just about when and where—it’s about who and what. That’s what Alpha understood. That’s what we’re fighting for.”

When questioned about the memory divergence by one of the extracted individuals, the subject replied: “That’s the beauty of time loops—each of you experienced a different facet of the same event. Old Man 1 remembers the combat scenarios because he needed that training for what’s coming. Old Man 2 remembers the card games because his mathematical skills needed refinement. Old Man 3 remembers the escape attempts because his spatial awareness was crucial to develop. None of you are wrong. You all lived through 1,342 loops, but the preservation field tailored each iteration to what you individually needed to experience.”

This statement provides the strongest confirmation yet that the subject is operating as part of a coordinated strategy with Singularity Alpha to preserve specific causally significant elements from timeline branches targeted for erasure by Singularity Omega. The implications of this preservation campaign for the larger transtemporal conflict remain under intensive analysis by Temporal Intelligence.

[The contents of this document have been heavily redacted according to Temporal Security Protocol 773-B. Full unredacted version stored in Causality Vault Alpha, accessible only to Omega-7 clearance personnel.]